Celebrating the True Meaning of Love
Love is the Gift of a Lifetime and Meant to Last for a Lifetime
The most wonderful thing in my life is the discovery of another human being with whom our relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase.
My husband, Reddy Kilowatt, and I have been married for 42 years. So, many times, the younger generation asks: “how we stay married for so long? what keeps us together? how we do such a thing and keep it going?” As they watch so many people these days float from one relationship or marriage to another, they want to know our secret to a long and loving relationship. We answer simply that we did not get married with the idea that we would divorce. Our commitment to each other vowed in love in front of God and witnesses of friends and family was taken very seriously by us. We are a gift to each other from Almighty God.
Robert Heinlein defined Love as “a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” That definition is reflected in our love for each other. Our goal has always been to be kind to each other, putting each others needs first, planning and anticipating anything we could do for the other that would make them happy. Each of us has grown and changed as our lives progress, but we have managed to always share common goals and interests as we built our lives together. A quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery says it so well, “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction.”
Our commitment to each other included the blessing of children, children we love and raised together gently guiding them through their lives with love and respect also allowing them to become the adults they are today. So, we answer those asking how we make love work with the resounding answer that we took our vows seriously those many years ago in our youth and do what ever it takes to live under that promise.
I recently attended a “celebration of life” following the death of a friend that had been married to his bride for 41 years. He fought cancer and died 4 days before Christmas, 2011. His battle was a long and difficult one, but the love that bonded he and his wife together never faltered. Their love gave them strength, and that deepening love gave them courage. Her heart was always at his service, giving unconditionally until the last breath was taken. William Shakespeare said it so well, “the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.” That is the example they gave for their children, family and friends to keep ever present in their thoughts.
I don’t pretend to know what love is for every person, but I can tell you what Love is for me. Love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about myself with no shame. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone. My Love is my best friend that smiles at me when I walk into a room, and I at him.
I love my husband without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love him straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love him because I know no other way than that way. I know we love each other more today than on the day we were married in 1969. We have faced our lives, our problems, sicknesses and health with a heart for each other, always keeping each other and our needs in focus. He is my ministry and I his.
As I thought of this post I read the following to Reddy K. He says it is his favorite, and I share it with you now. “Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And, when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’which any of us can convince ourselves we are.”
“Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” (Louis de Bernieres)
Celebrate your Love today and more so, your life together. Happy Valentine’s Day all.